Chantilly. Lace.

havefuncarolina:

laughingalonewithrvb:

saintnewlin:

laughingalonewithrvb:

queen-of-france:

saintnewlin:

Invisible Nap: wht if Red vs. Blue au of some sort where they wear…

queen-of-france:

fantabulous12123:

saintnewlin:

wht if Red vs. Blue au of some sort where they wear suits

because

suits

suits

SUITS

and suspenders

and ties of varying colors

mostly i just want donut in pink bowties all the time and that would be really great

i d k where you wear suits

maybe the mafia

or something

where do you wear…

Oh man Mobster Donut is the best fucking thing.

Oh my God, I’ve wanted a mobster AU for so long

The Reds and Blues are grunts from warring gangs, fighting over a district

Their bosses use them as a distraction from their operations, and couldn’t give less of a damn about them, but they don’t know it, and treat their jobs seriously

Every week, Boss gathers around his Reds and introduces a new plan worthy of the Olsen Gang, involving horse costumes or sneaking around under dustbins

(The rest of the time, he sends Donut and Simmons looking for horse heads to put in Grif’s bed; the novelty wore off after some seven times, so as pissed as Grif is about it, he no longer freaks out, just kicks the head out of his bed and sleeps on

the only ones disturbed by the situaton are Simmons and Donut, who have seen enough dead horses for a lifetime)

then, them and the Blues have a MACHINE GUN FIGHT

the citiziens of their district stopped being afraid long ago, and actually kinda like those goofballs; it’s better to have them around than ACTUAL gangsters, right?

Tex is an assassin. IN DRESS SLACKS WITH SUSPENDERS

the freelancers are actual mobsters, the ones handling all the important operations

Donut wears fashionable zoot suits in light colors

Simmons wears a trenchcoat under which he hides his oversized gun, the bible (mostly because he feels it’s necessary tfor his image of an Irish gangster, and I can’t think of a manual a Prohibition-era mobster would have), and a flask

Grif looks like a factory worker, it’s a good day if he remembered to wear a jacket, he spends all his time with their shiny new car, that miracle of technology

Lopez does all the actual work around their hideout and organizes half the things that go well, if not more; his awe-inspiring moustache does little to ease his annoyance

and guys

guys

flapper Sister

OH

oh my god

i just woke up but

FLAPPER SISTER

IS PRETTY MUCH ONE OF THE ONLY THINGS I CARE ABOUT!

Also, they could drive a shiny Mercedes from the 1920s that car is so bomb and prohibition!!!

Who would have the illegal distillery, eh, eh?

(probably Grif - tellin’ Simmons to have a martini with him and not to be square)

And oh my god I’d really love it if Tucker was a Jazz muscian turned mobster or s/t omg omg and I bet he’d wear wingtips a lot (ughhdhfdh fancy shoes) talkin’ bout pitchin’ the woo with aliens.

PITCHIN’ THE WOO

WITH ALIENS.

Omfg Tucker as a jazz musician this is absolutely BEAUTIFUL

And why do I have a feeling that Simons’ first words after seeing Grif’d distillry would be “GRIF THIS IS ILLEGAL DO YOU WANT ME TO REPORT YOU— oh, right”

SWEET SWEET BABY JESUS YEESSSSS

Caboose just moved to the city and this was the only work he can find and he treats it MONDO SERIOUSLY until we see the mental degredation that we see in RvB canon and Church is just so BITCHY all the time and why doesn’t Tucker ever get the submachine gun and Church’s aim with it is terrible and Tucker’s like, “Dude, how can you fucking miss with that thing?! You just go in a room and start shooting and people die!“ ”Shut the fuck up, asshole, it’s not as easy as it looks!”

And DOC dresses in the most flambouyantly dumb-looking purple doctor’s lab coat, even though he isn’t a doctor. And he’s all nervous about being mixed up in this dangerous gun business because he’s a pacifist and just annoys the shit out of everybody

JUST. SUITS. ALL OVER THE PLACE.

Doc is one of those horse doctors the mob hires to treat their wounded because obviously they can’t go to hospitals and neither team really realizes that they’ve been hiring the same horse doctor to treat their wounded.

and doc doesn’t really approve of this entire ”runnin’ moonshine business” or all this shooting i mean really!

I’m going to kiss all of you.

At the end of the day, they all share moonshine (Because really, Caboose is too stupid and Tucker would do it wrong and make them all blind and Church OBVIOUSLY has better things to do so why not just get some from the chubby guy in the orange suspenders?)

ALSO The director is like the mafia boss and sits in his chair, stroking a cat. (It’s actually Wash’s cat but the director entices him with tasty treats because everyone knows Wash can’t have nice things)

Wash is upset about this but it’s okay because the cat always come to sleep with him later.

aka: The cat is a whore.

Source: saintnewlin